Let's make someone's day

A delightful turn of events

In college, I thrived in the loving accountability of sitting across from a friend in a coffee shop to get my brain in gear.

As an adult, I use Focusmate, an online application that offers virtual study buddies or body doubling.

In a recent session, I noticed that my study buddy was in her 899th Focusmate session. We’d worked together once before, and I liked her vibes.

When I joined our next session, I put on a ridiculous tinsel headband and greeted her by waving my hands in the air and saying, “Hooray! It’s your 900th session!”

It was an inconsequential milestone that could’ve gone unnoticed. I debated if the sparkle was “too much,” but decided it was worth perhaps embarrassing myself to make her smile.

“You don’t know how much this means to me,” she told me. She’d just been talking with a colleague about tough family dynamics, and she’d had a rough week. She told me I’d made her day.

It ended up being a highlight of my day, too.

Tiny, even silly celebrations can create outsized connections.

Here are some other celebrations I’ve given and received this week:

• Thank a staffer: When I called my member of Congress, I told the staffer, “Thank you for doing this work. I hope you have a great day and that everyone is really nice to you.” She laughed and seemed to sincerely appreciate it.

• Send a “thought-of-you” link: A friend texted an article that reminded her of me, a particularly resonant excerpt, and a sweet note. I felt seen and celebrated.

• Share an image: I love the profound friendship between Heated Rivalry actors Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams. A friend sent me the picture below of them being deep in friend love on the set of SNL. It’s now the background on my phone.

In each instance, the gesture was designed to help the other person feel seen or to make them smile. When I was the recipient, it felt joyful and connective.

This week, I scheduled a session with my new Focusmate friend. I told her I’d be working on the contract for a new client I was excited about during our session. She balled up her scarf and put it on her head, a move I found confusing at first.

She told me, “This is my celebration hat!” When I responded enthusiastically, she told me, “I can tell how much this client means to you.” Again, I felt seen.

Despite being in a public library, she wore the balled up scarf on top of her head for the entire session.

Needless to say, she made my day.

Much love,
Lelia

Trust Yourself to Try

• How might you delight someone?

• What gesture or action from a friend or stranger has delighted you recently?